I’ve been in ministry now for over 15 years and the majority of that has been in youth ministry. You’ll see a lot of trends come and go over 15 years, especially with teenagers. Each generation gets a new fancy name, like GenX, Millennials, and now, GenZ, and what is nuts is that even though only a few years separate these generations, it seems the trends flip flop. What was true for millennials is the total opposite for GenZ. Ministering to young people definitely requires you to stay relevant!
But there is one thing that has been a constant over the course of these years. Attendance. Or I guess I should say the lack of attendance when certain variables come into play. Skipping church for various reasons has always been an issue, but it seems that it is actually getting worse.
Here’s the disclaimer. I’m not saying you can’t ever miss a church service or else you’re going to hell. That’s crazy. But I do believe that church is important. In fact, I believe there are areas of Christianity – even levels of Jesus Christ – you will never experience unless you are plugged in, committed, in covenant, with a life-giving, local church. Maybe I’ll prove this point in my next post, but for the sake of time and length, just trust me.
I think the important question is not should you skip church this week, but why should you skip church this week? Going on a vacation? Have a blast. Sick? Stay home (for everyone’s sake lol). But what about other reasons that aren’t so good? Let’s hit a few I’ve heard over the years.
1. My teen has tons of homework.
Perhaps this is a good excuse to some, but skipping church to catch up on homework is not a good excuse at all. “Education is important,” one might muse. Yes it is. But so is teaching a teenager to properly manage their time so that they aren’t having to catch up all the time. I know teens nowadays never procrastinate. <chuckle> “The teacher assigns too much.” “My teen is having trouble with the subject.” “There’s not another night they could catch up.” All of these are excuses, but let me tackle them all with this one question:
Why not another night? Having to schedule around basketball games, dance practice, soccer, piano, organization meeting, and on and on can be really tough. There’s a lot going on, true, but maybe one more question?
Would you, even for a moment, think of keeping them home from an extracurricular activity to finish homework?
If education is really that important, then it should trump even extracurriculars. “Sorry Johnny. You have too much homework. No basketball tonight. Tonight, you’re all about that geometry.” No soccer to catch up on schoolwork? You cray.
This is almost unheard of today. And there’s a reason why.
There is a hierarchy of importance to which we assign various activities in our lives. Unfortunately, church is, often times, very low on that list, and when a parent tells their teen they are staying home from youth to do homework, they are reinforcing this bad ideology that church is disposable. “No big deal. It’s just one service.” True it is just one service. But most people don’t just miss one. It creates a gap that the enemy can breach. Ephesians 4:27 tells us not to give the devil a foothold. When church becomes disposable, it creates a gap that is geared at isolating you from the body. And when you get isolated, you get attacked.
Take the time to reinforce the truth that church IS important. Worshipping with other believers IS valuable. Even if there’s a ton of homework to do, is it worth missing just one hour of ministry that reinforces their relationship with God and church as a priority? Not to mention the impact that could be made on the teen themselves! One word spoken from God could change them forever.
2. We’re just too tired to come.
I find this one odd. Does it require energy to get everyone together, load up, drive to church, have church, load everyone up, go home, do any homework or whatever, then go to bed? Yes it does. But Matthew 11:28 tells us, “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest,” and in Isaiah 40:31, “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
Don’t believe the lie that going to church if you are tired is going to make you more tired. When you join together with the body of Christ and you lift praise and worship together to God, don’t think for one second that his presence won’t refresh you. That presence, the same one that the psalmist in Psalm 22:3 said inhabits the praises of his people, is the only thing that can provide true rest. Television, that Lazy-Boy recliner, all they do is push the tiredness back till tomorrow. If you really want to experience a refreshing from the Lord when you are tired, don’t skip church. Get to church as fast as you can. Engage in worship. Expect God to do something amazing. And be refreshed as he does as he promised he would do.
As a side benefit, when you are so tired but choose church anyway, what you are telling your teen is that you know where the true source of your rest is – Jesus Christ. You’re telling them that your relationship with God and your commitment to the local church are more important than how you feel in that moment. You’re telling them what I need I find in God. THAT’S a lesson they need to learn.
3. We’re just too busy.
The Jesus Juke would be, “I’m glad Jesus wasn’t too busy to go to the cross.” But that sounds a little condemning (lol) so I’ll just ask this: What is more important than Jesus Christ? What is so important on a Sunday morning or a Wednesday night that it keeps you from engaging with your fellow Christians in corporate worship? It’s honestly a borderline idolatry issue.
Make time for church. It teaches your teen what matters. Most Wednesday night services are only an hour long. An average teen today watches about 2 hours of television a night. An hour isn’t a lot. And that hour is too important to miss.
Maybe you’re thinking this is just a ploy to get bigger numbers. Listen, I care about numbers because Jesus did. “Go makes disciples” is plural. But that’s not the reason I’m writing this. Church is good for your teenager. Even more than good, it is necessary. Being surrounded with other teens who are chasing after God is good for your teenager. And even though a parent may have good intentions when staying home because of homework or tiredness or busyness, what the parent is really saying is that your education, your sporting event, your extracurricular activity, or how you feel at the moment is more important that you developing your relationship with God and growing in a godly environment with other teens like you.
We see a disturbing trend among people 18-22 years old in America today. They are leaving the church right and left. Now, it could be from a variety of reasons, such as shaky faith, poor theology, the secularism in America and the church today, or a hundred other things. But whatever reason(s) may be, don’t let it be because they learned that church wasn’t important as a teenager.
Take your teen to church. Make sure they are there. Even if they don’t feel like it. Honestly, even if you don’t feel like it. Proverbs 22:6 is a great verse that encourages us that if we train up a child in the way they should go, when they are old they will not depart from it. But the not departing part doesn’t work if the training up part doesn’t happen.
Value church. Value attendance. Value the relationship with God you develop with other believers in a church setting. Value these things, and your teen will too.
Be blessed,
J