Do you know that old saying, “be careful what you wish for, you just might get it?” I’ve heard it a lot. I would like to add a version of that, be careful what you pray for, you just might get it.

When Monique and I began talking about having our first child, I spent a lot of time praying about the boy or girl we would have. When we found out our child would be a girl, I had a very specific prayer in mind. I love a feisty, independent personality. I see myself as having that personality, and I wanted a feisty independent little girl. Be careful what you pray for…

There are parents right now reading this letter saying, “You are the dumbest person alive!”

Months later, Monique gave birth to a beautiful little baby girl. She is beautiful, she is smart, and yes, she is feisty and independent. And honestly, we do love that about her. We love that she doesn’t have to constantly be next to us all the time. She can go in a room and play by herself or do things where she’s not constantly wanting to cling to us. And it is great when she has to stay over at a babysitter’s house, or when she goes to Sunday school at church. She rarely ever cries for us.

But somewhere in the mix of having a feisty, independent child is this extra incentive you get with it: the strong will. Proverbs 22:15 says that rebellion is in the heart of the child, but it is discipline that drives it away from him. (Paraphrased). I know there is a big debate over spanking versus not spanking, and that debate can get pretty intense. But I believe what the Bible tells us that whoever spares the rod, hates their child. So when Vivi messes up, we discipline her. To be honest though, I hate spanking her. It really does break my heart to do it.

Monique, Vivi, and I were eating at Chick-fil-A the other day. (What is it about Chick-fil-A the kids love so much? Oh yeah, chicken nuggets and a play place.) Vivi had done really well at the nursery at boot camp that day, so we grabbed lunch and were going to reward her with an ice cream.  But the whole time we were there, she cried and cried and complained about wanting to go play. It was insane! We would tell her that if she ate her bites, she could go play. She cried and whined to the point where we actually had to discipline her. And because of that, she was not allowed to play or have her ice cream.

We don’t throw fits. And we sure don’t get to play and have a treat after we throw a fit.

But something hit me really hard in that moment. How many times has God wanted to bless me with something, but because of my attitude, because of rebellion, because I was throwing a fit about something, he couldn’t?

I kind of understood how God might feel in that moment. I wanted Vivi to go play. I wanted her to have ice cream. But because she refused to obey the one thing I asked of her, I couldn’t allow her to. I had to discipline her. So instead of the joy that she gets as a byproduct of her obedience, she had to endure discipline.

Does that sound like you sometimes? I know it sounds like me sometimes. But at least I have gotten to the place in my relationship with Jesus where I understand that discipline is not meant to hurt me, it is meant to make me better.

Consider this passage: Hebrews 12:10-11 For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. No discipline is enjoyable while it is happening—it’s painful! But afterward there will be a peaceful harvest of right living for those who are trained in this way.

Before we had Vivi, I didn’t really understand that as much as I do now. It really hurts my feelings to spank her. But I know when I do, not only am I driving out rebellion like that Proverbs verse says, but what I’m really doing is showing that I love her. I love her enough not to allow a specific behavior to dictate her life. I love her enough to say when she’s messing up, stop. I love her enough that when she doesn’t stop, I intervene.

I think it is the same with God. He loves me enough to discipline me when I sin. He loves me enough to say stop what I’m doing something I shouldn’t do, and intervene if I continue doing it. He loves me enough to discipline me, and even though I don’t like it at that time, I know that what it’s doing is driving rebellion away.

After all, I am one of his kids. And though, he still has to get out the wooden spoon sometimes, I have gotten much better at stopping when I hear him say stop.

After I spank Vivi if she does something wrong, there is that moment where she cries, and she comes right back to me. She climbs into my arms, lays her head on my shoulder, and cries. I tell her I love her, that I don’t want to spank her, and that it is going to be okay. It is at that time, when she is repentant and attentive, that I tell her why what she did was wrong. She says, “Yessir” and the discipline is done, and hopefully the lesson is learned.

We have to go through discipline sometimes ourselves. And I’m sure, just like when I have to discipline Vivi, he doesn’t like it. But what it produces is righteousness, obedience, and goodness.

So if you are enduring discipline right now, consider these things:

1. Discipline is proof God loves you, since he loves who he disciplines (Proverbs 3:11-12)

2. Discipline will produce righteousness in you if you will let it. (Hebrews 12:11)

3. Learn the lesson discipline teaches. Discipline proves God loves us, but obedience is one of the best ways to show God you love him! And in the process, obedience allows God to bless you in the first place!. (Isaiah 1:19)

Sometimes Vivi gets a spanking from her father. Sometimes I get one from my Heavenly Father. But after it is done, I am a better son. I’ve learned a lesson. Rebellion has been thwarted and obedience has released blessing into my life. It isn’t fun, but boy is it beneficial.

Ask God to help you be obedient, and if you have to endure discipline, ask him to help you learn the lesson he is wanting to teach you. Quickly!

Be blessed!
J