I’ve seen a lot of posts lately about why people are leaving the church. Everyone seems to have suggestions as to why, and many of them I have read have been pretty good.
I do find it sad that people leave the church. As Christians, we agree that Christianity is not a way but the way. John 14:6 tells us, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me.”
I think even worse than people leaving the church are the various reason why people leave the church. Now, some Christians out there are really good at pointing out specks in other’s eyes, and unfortunately there are church members out there who make it really hard to engage in church. But we can’t let them derail to what – and where – God has called us. If we do, we are allowing other people to dictate our relationship with Jesus. Careful with that, lest we elevate someone else’s thoughts above God’s.
Just so we can cover the bases, there are biblical reasons to leave a church. Losing faith is not one of them. Offense is not one of them. People move away, and God calls people to other ministries at times. My wife and I attended a church in Longview before we landed at NCC. There’s nothing wrong with the first church, it just wasn’t where God wanted us. I think the last 3 years have been evidence of that.
But leaving a church should never happen without talking to your pastor first. There’s the right way to leave and the wrong way. If you have to leave, talk to your pastor first, and listen to their counsel. This is to help make sure you are leaving for the right reasons.
On the other side of this coin is the group of people who don’t leave. There are some traits that are evident in them. I’d like to share a few of them with you.
Five Reason People Do Not Leave the Church
1. Because they’ve made a genuine commitment to Jesus Christ.
There are a lot of people who call themselves Christian but live more like Galatians 5:19-21 than Galatians 5:22-23. A real commitment to Jesus Christ means you have entered into a covenant with God and you are submitted to the process of becoming more like him. Jesus isn’t about quitting and walking away from us, and because we are committed to being like him, we shouldn’t be either.
Thank God Jesus hasn’t walked away from us. There are many times we deserve it, but while it is true we’ve made commitments to him, Jesus also made one to us. He refuses to walk away. We should be the same way.
2. Because they read and apply the Bible to their lives.
We need to engage in real Christianity, not the watered-down, worldly version of it. If more people actually read the Bible and applied its principles, we would see a revolution in their lives, in their church, in their families. Witnessing would blow up, people would be getting saved and filled with the Holy Spirit right and left, and the fruit we would see from their lives would be mind-boggling.
The Bible was given to us for a reason. God really expects us to live our lives by its precepts.
3. Because they’ve made a commitment to his Church as well.
If you have made a commitment to Jesus, then you understand that you have committed to his church as well. Let me save you the suspense: the church is made of people and people are flawed. We may be doing everything we can to be Christ-like, but no one is there yet. If you are expecting a perfect church then I’d invite you to lead the way.
Because we are committed to Jesus AND his church, then before we ever think of walking away, we need to consider how to make it better.
4. Because rather than getting offended and going home, they actually deal with issues when they come up.
It is truly amazing how many people leave a church over an offense. If you are looking for an offense, I promise you will find one. Offenses show a lack of maturity, plain and simple. Not only that, as Christians, we have signed over our rights to Jesus Christ. Most offenses happen because we feel our rights have been violated. “Someone said something or did something and they had no right to do that.” Maybe that’s true, but offense doesn’t hurt the perpetrator. It hurts the offended, and the devil just loves an offense. He doesn’t see your hurt, he sees an open door.
There is a biblical way to handle issues that come up like this. Matthew 18:15-17: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”
Don’t quit. Don’t leave. Don’t shut down. Address the issue and gain a brother or sister in Christ.
5. Because they’ve learned that real church life is about being a contributor, not a taker.
We live in such a taker-minded society. It is all about what you can get or what someone can do for you. Sadly, people bring that into the church as well. Acts 20:35 tells us, “It is more blessed to give than to receive.” People need to transition from the taker mentality to a mindset of being a contributor. The Holy Spirit can help with that.
A contributor adds to an organization. They serve. They give. They are actively engaged in making the organization the best it can be. Until we get to the point where we are contributing rather than taking, it is easy to walk away. Takers who walk away do so most times because they have exhausted what they can get, so they move to the next handout. That is not the Christianity Jesus expected of us.
We need to be contributors. Contributors are owners. They have a strong sense of commitment because they are an active part of what makes the church better. If you feel like you are taking more than you are contributing, try the latter. You will begin to realize why Acts 20:35 is the truth.
Conclusion
True Christians don’t leave the church. They make it better. Would you commit to that? Maybe you have been a part of the problem. That’s okay. Just repent. Ask God to forgive you, and perhaps ask your pastor as well. Deal with your offenses with people. Consider Matthew 5:23-24: “…if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” It seems that Jesus thinks it is really important to clear the air before you contribute, and this isn’t just talking about money!
God doesn’t want us to be flaky, emotional, fly-by-night Christians. He wants us to be committed, engaged, to contribute. Jesus is the head of the Church and we are all a part of what makes up the Church. Rather than leaving when things aren’t perfect, do what you can to fix it. Ask God to show you what you can do. Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal areas of concern in your own life. Let’s model our Savior and do whatever it takes to make the church, wherever your church may be, the very best it can be. Amen!
Ephesians 2:19-20 So then you are no longer strangers and aliens, but you are fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Christ Jesus himself being the cornerstone, in whom the whole structure, being joined together, grows into a holy temple in the Lord. In him you also are being built together into a dwelling place for God by the Spirit.
Be blessed,
J