Have you watched tv in the last month or two? If you have, then I want you to know you have been targeted. How? Listen to this research from the Western Journal of Medicine:
“Analyses of broadcast media content indicate that, on average, teenaged viewers see 143 incidents of sexual behavior on network television at prime time each week, with portrayals of three to four times as many sexual activities occurring between unmarried partners as between spouses. As much as 80% of all movies shown on network or cable television stations have sexual content. An analysis of music videos indicates that 60% portray sexual feelings and impulses, and a substantial minority display provocative clothing and sexually suggestive body movements. Analyses of media content also show that sexual messages on television are almost universally presented in a positive light, with little discussion of the potential risks of unprotected sexual intercourse and few portrayals of adverse consequences.” (source)
I follow that research with a quote from someone I would not normally quote as he is a Calvinist, which is a theology I am strongly against, however, I think RC Sproul has it right in at least this paraphrased statement, “The sexual revolution is the most significant revolution we’ve experienced in the United States.”
We live in a world where sexual immorality is as common as bread. It is thrown around in the media and entertainment industries like it means nothing. Sex sells everything from lingerie to hamburgers. And if you are one of the minority who believes that sexuality is sacred and is meant for a husband and a wife alone, you are ostracized, treated like you are an idiot, and branded as a weirdo prude. There is an all out war on morality in the United States, and let’s be honest with ourselves, immorality is winning.
My whole life growing up I heard about being pure. I grew up in the era of True Love Waits, which was a part of the Purity Movement back in the 90’s. I can remember being at a Rebecca St. James concert when she shouted to the sea of people, “You can be a technical virgin,” which was a person who had failed but God had forgiven. I knew about the rings and the promises and I remember how big a deal purity was.
The thing is, though, purity was always something directed at the girls, much more so than the boys. The purity rings were representative of the pacts daughters made with their families to be pure. And I also remember the billboards you would see around. Those were popular even when my wife and I got married. I can remember one day seeing a billboard about purity, and my wife making a comment about the fact that they always showed girls, not boys. She was right. Purity has always been something that is marketed to girls much more aggressively than boys.
I have a hard time with that. I have a hard time with the fact that when a young man has premarital sex it is a notch on the belt and when girls do, they are called terrible names. A guy could have a ton of sexual experiences and no one would really think much about it, but if a girl did that, she would be labeled as damaged goods. That is dead wrong.
Listen, purity is important for girls, but it is for boys too. In fact, I’d say more important. Boys grow up to be men who are the leaders of their households and what you allow into your life will potentially impact your family. Boys grow up to be men who teach their children what they think is important. Do girls grow up to do the same? Sure. But this isn’t a discussion of equality of roles but the equality of purity. There needs to be the same emphasis on young men’s purity as there is young women’s purity. And honestly, I think there needs to be more emphasis on the guys.
You rarely find a girl who is pushing for immorality. Yes, I realize that there are more and more today that will than in the past, but let’s not be naive in thinking that guys aren’t the ones pushing for it. They always have and they still are today.
What I am ready to see is a generation of young men who care more about what they are going to give their wives at the altar than a moment of lust with a girl they will forget. Every sexual partner gets a piece of you, and when you realize that, you see just how big a deal that transaction at the altar really is. When I got married, I stood on that altar and my wife gave me all of her, everything. I gave her what I had left. That is my greatest regret, that I didn’t care enough about my purity to save it for her.
If you are a young woman out there, value your purity. Don’t awaken love until the proper time. Trust God to help you think the right things and do the right things. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you make the right choices. Your purity is too valuable to throw away.
If you are a young man out there right now, let me just tell you that you don’t have to sleep around to be somebody. You don’t have to live that persona. And you need to know that your purity is just as important. Sex is not worth destroying your purity. Outside of marriage, it will leave you empty. Take it from someone who failed: it is not worth it. You will begin to look at girls differently. You won’t appreciate them for who they are. You will begin to see them only for what you can get out of them. It is a horrible way to live.
Guys, it is more important for us to stay pure because we are the ones called to lead our families. Decide what kind of leader you want to be. Decide what kind of life you want to live. There is more power in your purity than in your immorality. I want you to know that you are better than what the world expects of you. Young men and women both, value your purity. Never waste something as precious as your purity on something as meaningless as a feeling.
If you have failed, you can be forgiven. Just ask God. He will forgive you. I don’t know if a technical virgin is a real thing or not, but I do know this, God has the power to restore you. And even better, God’s power to restore you is eclipsed only by his power to keep you out of the mess in the first place. Trust God. Be pure.