In 1998, I was a fresjman at Lamar University in Beaumont, Tx, and one night, laying in bed, trying to go to sleep, I had a thought that turned into the post you read today.
Its ta been a long time since I wrote this, but still love thinking about the impact that night in Bethlehem had on that shepherd’s life.
Enjoy!
A Shepherd’s Tale
Jason John Cowart
One night in my room, I was listening to some Christmas music and I began to think not only about the birth of the Savior, but also of the thoughts of one of the shepherds and his life after the encounter with the Christ. I wondered if he lived long enough to see the crucifixion, and also what he thought as he saw the Man the he beheld as a babe in agony on the cross. I contemplated the effect that Jesus would have had upon his life and whether or not this seemingly insignificant person accepted the Savior. In this story, I tried to experience the life of this shepherd from the time he met Jesus, until his eternity. This is what I saw…
I am only a shepherd
in a meadow watching sheep
and as I lay staring into the heavens
I hear the voices of those who hide behind the stars
and as I watch
and as I listen
I see the host of angelic beings
and hear them sing their praises
in harmony
to the one that is born the Christ
and as I turn from the heavens
to the little town I have all these years known
I see a star
a star whose brilliance illuminates the sky
like a diamond
and as I gaze into the radiance of the star
I hear the angelic host proclaim
Unto us a Savior is given
Who is Christ the Lord
I leave my sheep and follow the light
and as I am lost
I look to the heavens to find the way
and as I run to the light of the star
I see the shelter
and as I approach
I see man woman and child
and as I fall prostrate before the child
as I humble myself
I hear a giggle
and I smile
He is the Christ.
I remember that night long ago
it has been thirty three years since I have seen the child
I am old and my memory is quickly fading
but I can still see Him
I remember His little glowing face
and His countenance that sent a message of peace
throughout my person
He admitted a glow that shot through the darkness
and banished evil
and when a grunt He made
when a sound was released from His sacred lips
the angels rejoiced
Now they cry
He who came to save is now dying
His face no longer glows but is beaten
the sky is no longer filled with the angelic host
but is clouded in death
and I remember the night of His birth
I remember that His mission was to save that which was lost
that He came for me
I heard of His teachings
I heard He healed
and even raised those that have died
but now He is dying
and all I can ask
is who will raise Him
I now find myself in the same place
I was on the day I met Him
on my face
before Him
it is raining and I am wet
my face and body are covered in mud
yet as His blood flows like water down the ugly cross
it finds its way onto my head as I am prostrate before Him
and cleanses me
and I remember that night long ago
and cry
I look to His mangled face and I see Him looking at me
and He is saying something
I can barely make out the words
but I know what He says
I love you
I love you
I now die so that you may live
I now go because I would rather die than to see you in this pain
believe me
I love you
as the tears stream down my dirty face
as I gaze into His pain stricken eyes
I realize how much He loves me
truly
It is over
He is now dead
I have watched them bury him and I now wait
Someone once told me he would return
That three days later
He would be raised
But by whom?
The angels are still quiet
The earth is still silent
The sky still in its masquerade of death
My heart is saddened
And broken
But I am still hopeful
It has been three days since he was raised
The angels are still shouting hosannas and hallelujahs
And singing praise and glory and honor be to our lord
I am now happy
I know that my fate is secured
I know because he lives in me
I have invited him in
And now I will never be without him again
Eternal life is what I have attained
But not by my own power
It was all his idea
It is once again the same time of the year that I met him
And I am now on my death bed
I again hear the angels singing
And I recall the things I have seen over my life
From the first look at his face
To his expression as he died
And now as he is risen
He is in me
I see his face
It is embedded in my mind
But I see not the face on the cross
Or even his face as he is risen
I see a child
An innocent face
Eyes that break the day
And hands that shaped all that I am and see
And I am grateful
For I am only shepherd
Lowly old and worn
But loved
He showed me that day on Calvary
That he loved me
And with each lash from a whip
Each hit of a nail in his hand
With each chant of mockery
He showed me
Yet it is when I fix my eyes upon his
He proves it to me
I now breathe my last breath
I now die
But I am happy
Because in my life I have experienced him
I am glad I experienced him
I saw his love for me over and over again
He paid what I owed
And now I will spend eternity
In a place called heaven
In his presence forever
And I will look at his face
At his eyes
And he will look at mine
And I will see him saying something to me
I love you
Jesus…
I love you too
Be blessed and Merry Christmas,
J