From time to time I have parents ask me about social networks. What is good, what is bad, how to handle their students’ usage of them, etc. Believe it or not, many parents have no clue what social networks their teens are using much less what the networks do.
If that’s you, don’t feel too badly. It is difficult to keep up with the new trends in social media these days, since there’s a new app or new platform every day it seems! So how can you stay up to date with all of the platforms out there, and how can you make sure your teenager is safe while using them?
1. Learn
You can’t afford to not know what is out there. It isn’t as hard as it sounds. The best thing to do is a Google search of recent trends in teen social network usage. Just go to google.com and search “what social networks are teens using.” Be prepared for what you find, but don’t immediately jump to the conclusion that your teen is using these networks to do bad things. Just because your student uses Snapchat doesn’t mean they are sexting. But it does mean you need to have a talk with them, letting them you know the dangers of the app, and that you want to be sure they don’t allow bad things to happen.
Every teen is different, and every parent may have a different style of dealing with social networks – which is perfectly fine – but you can’t address the social network situation until you learn about social networks. Knowledge is power, so gather as much knowledge as you can, not only about the social networks your teens may use, but about everything your teen is involved in.
2. Teach
We all know how much teens love the word “no.” Tell them not to touch something, and they want to touch it more. I’ve had people ask me if I tell teens not to listen to a certain type of music or watch certain movies, etc. I rarely tell teens a definitive yes or no on things like this. Instead, I want to teach them the value of deciding if it is right or wrong based on what God says and/or expects from them as his follower, and then let them decide if they should do it or not. Give a man a fish…you know the rest.
That is why it is so important not to just tell them not to use a social network. Teach them why. Teach the negatives and how the app in question can be incredibly detrimental to their relationship with God. Teach them what you have learned in life, which is to make the right decision based on God’s word, prayer, and wise counsel. My parents rarely ever said, “You can’t do this, or you can’t do that.” They tried to teach me the value of Godly decision-making, pro/con analyses, and doing what is right because I wanted to, not because I was forced to. Doing this gives you the opportunity to warn them of dangers, but gives them the space they need to feel like the decision they come to was their decision, even if it is what you suggested all along.
3. Monitor
I’m just going to say it: if you aren’t monitoring your teen’s social network activities, you aren’t allowed to be surprised when you find your teen is making bad decisions on them. I am pretty sure the vast majority of parents out there want to protect their kids from danger (I would hope so), but it is sometimes hard to know what networks your teen is using. If that is you, here are three things I recommend:
a. No login info, no access – If your student is going to use any social network, you must require access (username or email and password) to any and all accounts at all times. This sounds like you don’t trust your kid, and I understand that, but we all drive better when the cop is behind us, and we will all behave properly on social networks if we know others can monitor our activity. I recommend this for married couples as well. If you have an app or username your spouse doesn’t know about, then be careful of Matthew 5:27-30.
b. Random checks – At least once a month, ask your teen for their device without notice, and check their social network activity. If you ever have a question on how to do that, just Google it. (ex. How do I view tumblr history?) If you use Apple devices, by checking the “Purchases” section of the App Store, you can see every app ever downloaded with that specific account.
c. Privacy settings – require that your teen’s privacy settings limit their information and content to friends only. This keeps strangers from viewing your teen’s social network activity.
I realize this sounds like you don’t trust your student, or they may get mad at you for wanting to see their device, and I get that. If you have no reason to suspect something, then you may not need to ask for their device. BUT, in my experience, every time someone gets upset because of a situation like wanting to see their device, it is because they are hiding something. A person who has nothing to hide has no problem handing over their device. My parents used to scare me with a verse, and it worked: Numbers 32:23, “…be sure your sin will find you out.” Eek! I knew not to hide because it would come out in the end anyway.
While you may not want to go this far with your teen, you need to monitor their activities in some form or fashion. Many teens are leaving Facebook because they don’t want their parents to see their activity. This is a huge warning sign for a parent that their teen is up to something. You don’t have to be the warden, but at the very least, be diligent. God has entrusted your child’s development to you and your spouse. It is worth it to stay up to date with your teen’s social network activity.
A Concise Guide to the Current Most Popular Social Networks Among Teens
To help you in your journey of learning social networks, here is a list of the most popular platforms among teens as of right now. I list the name, a brief description, the good, the bad, and my advice on whether teens should use them or not.
Tumblr
Tumblr is an app and a website that relies on short posts and can be anything from text, links, images, videos, etc. These posts can relate to certain topics, or simply be a place where people can express their own interests in a public forum.
Good: This social network is great for self-expression and keeping up with what’s going on in the online world. Most viral* videos and news stories appear on sites like this first.
Bad: This social network has very limited restrictions on content, meaning the negatives in the world (sex, drugs, porn, alcohol, bullying, etc) are plentiful and easy to find.
My advice: Lose it. There is just too much explicit content on Tumblr to recommend it for teen use.
Kik
Kik is a messaging system that uses the internet rather than your text messaging plans to send short, simple messages. Rather than emails and texts, people can send videos, images, emoji (little face icons), memes (click here), and a variety of other content.
Good: It allows users to send tons of data to contacts without using your text plan.
Bad: Many students use this platform for sexting. Plus, it can be used by predators to interact with those who could be their victims.
My advice: Use with caution. This app has its dangers, but if you use it how it was meant to be used, it can be fun. Be sure to monitor this one.
WhatsApp
WhatsApp is a texting app that operates much like regular texting on your phone does, but it uses the internet rather than your texting plan. Many teens use it to avoid getting in trouble about texting with their friends so much, since it is free. Also, iPods and other non-cellular devices can text with the app. Teens can text with a lot of people, leaving a door open for predators. Just make sure who they’re texting is a real person they know.
Good: It saves a lot of money by allowing users to text using data, not text plans.
Bad: It is as bad as texting can be in that students can abuse it by sexting, or allowing people they don’t know to communicate with them.
My advice: Use it. There’s not a lot too bad about this one. As with anything, it can be made to be bad, but it is pretty safe.
YouTube
This social network is relatively safe. It is owned by Google and as such, they will delete pornographic materials. Most teens use YouTube to watch music videos, funny videos, etc. There’s not really a ton to worry about here.
Good: A relatively safe place to watch a variety of videos, from music to educational, to funny, etc.
Bad: YouTube, like other networks, can have foul language and risqué content, so be sure to monitor usage.
My advice: Use it. Again, just monitor it.
Ask.fm
This is a social network that allows users to ask questions to other users. With a username, or even anonymously, you can interact with other users.
Good: It allows users to express themselves by asking and answering random questions from a variety of topics.
Bad: Users can easily be the victims of or engage in unsupervised cyber bullying. Users can ask other users things like, “What is your favorite color?” to “Why haven’t you killed yourself yet?” This site has even been connected with bullying-related suicides.
My advice: Lose it. I’ve never used this app, but I can’t imagine anything good coming from it. People use it to try to boost self esteem, but it seems more people lose self esteem from using it. It isn’t worth that.
Vine
Vine is a Twitter-owned company that allows users to create and share 6 second videos in a variety of topics from comedy to family to weird, Many vine stars mock random fads within pop culture
Good: There’s a lot of funny content on Vine, and it is a great platform for expressing yourself in a variety of ways.
Bad: There is tons of filthy language, sexual innuendo (including amateur porn), even violence and bullying.
My advice: Use with caution. This really is a fun app, but it can get foul (language) and nasty (sexually) quickly. Make sure the people your teen follows aren’t the type that produce foul, nasty content.
Snapchat
Widely known as “The Sexting App,” Snapchat is an app that allows you to create photos and short videos that you can send to people in your friend network. The catch is that the the photos and/or videos self-destruct within the time you set, generally less than 15 seconds. The person who receives the snap can screenshot it (taking a photo of your device’s screen), but if they do, the sender is notified of the screenshot. You can also add snaps to your “Story” which people in your friends list can view as many times as they choose for 24 hrs. I use Snapchat to interact with students from time to time and it is fun and unique, so it isn’t ALL bad! But it can be, so use with caution.
Good: It is a fun new way to send photos and videos of what you are doing.
Bad: It is simply too easy to sext with this app. There is absolutely no way to monitor what goes on between your student and their contacts. And you should never believe anyone when they say content you put online “destructs.” It never goes away.
My advice: Use with caution. I don’t have a problem using it, but I don’t sext either! This is one you will want to monitor closely if you allow your teen to use it.
Reddit
Reddit is a lot like Tumblr in that you can share a variety of content easily, but also allows users to follow what would be like groups on Facebook that are centered around a specific topic. Reddit has literally tons of content from an unlimited array of topics.
Good: If it is happening anywhere in the world, it is probably on Reddit. Reddit is like the pulse of the internet.
Bad: There is so much unhealthy content for teens, from foul language to bullying, porn (and I mean anything you could ever imagine) to vile horrible groups showing videos from people being killed. I was horrified. I used Reddit for a while but deleted my account because of the bad content.
My advice: Lose it. I deleted my account because of the disgusting content. I do not recommend using this platform.
Pheed
Pheed is a quickly growing platform that currently has 81% of its users between the ages of 14-25. Not only are users able to share all sorts of content, they can also live stream what they are doing at any given time.
Good: It allows users a great deal of social interaction.
Bad: It is too easy to get involved in sexting and cyber-bullying, especially because of the live stream feature.
My advice: Use with extreme caution. While I’ve never used Pheed, the live feed thing troubles me.
Instagram
Instagram is an image and video sharing network owned by Facebook. It is highly popular among young teenagers. Instagram allows you to post your image or video and users can comment creating social interaction.
Good: Instagram is very easy to monitor and is a good starter social network for young teens IF their privacy settings are set properly.
Bad: Users can be exposed to risqué material (much like what is allowed on Facebook), foul language, and cyber bullying.
My advice: Use it. It is a great way to share, especially among young teens, as long as the privacy settings are set to only friends can view their content.
Twitter
Twitter is an incredibly popular social network that allows you to post 140 characters of text, including links to videos, websites, etc. Popular with adults and business, Twitter is is widely used by teenagers, but statistics show teens are less active on Twitter and more active on these other networks listed.
Good: Provides a platform to share a variety of content and is easily “monitorable” and relatively safe.
Bad: There is a lot of foul language by some users, and it can be used to cyber bully.
My advice: Use it. Twitter is a great way for students to interact and share content.
Facebook
Facebook is easily the most popular social network listed here and still has a good percentage of teens still using it. There is a growing trend of teens leaving Facebook for these other social media platforms. The main reason teens leave Facebook if telling: “Because my mom is on it.” Facebook is very strict about sexually explicit content and has a hearty system for dealing with posts that are abusive or threatening.
Good. Facebook is easily the most “monitorable” social network. Facebook users have complete access to their friends’ walls, so everything the friend posts can be seen.
Bad: While there are ways to deal with a bully on Facebook, cyber bullying does still occur. If you are loose with privacy settings, people not in your friend network can find you and see your content.
My advice: Use It. I think Facebook is perfectly fine, as long as the privacy settings are set to only friends can view their content.
Web Browser Apps
Safari, Internet Explorer, Chrome, Firefox, Opera, Dolphin, etc. These are apps on devices you use to browse the internet. You can search for anything on the web with them just like you can on a computer. The thing you need to monitor here is the web history. You need to check the web history to make sure they aren’t accessing websites that you wouldn’t approve of. If the history list has been cleared, or if it is set to private, you need to ask them about it. Don’t allow them to use web apps on private, which saves no history at all.
I hope and pray this helps you navigate this crazy, quickly-changing world of social networks and platforms. We, as parents and leaders, have a great responsibility to raise our children to make wise decisions and to do our best to protect them. Along with learning about these networks, and as well as monitoring and talking to your teens, I pray that God would help you see what you need to see in your teen’s life. Ask him for discernment to know what you need to know about your teen. Teens don’t always tell you everything about their lives, but ask God to give you wisdom if there is something going on. I can tell you he will. He told my parents on me! I know that is hard to believe, since I was such a heavenly child…
Be strong, be diligent, and if I can help further, please let me know!
Matthew 10:16 Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.
Be blessed and safe!
J
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